Princess Diana's Death
What does Diana stand for?
Died In A Nasty Accident.
What have Princess Diana and Pink Floyd got in common?
They both had a hit with the wall.
What is the difference between a Mercedes and A Skoda?
Princess Di wouldn't be seen dead in a Skoda.
What is the difference between the London Ritz and the Paris Ritz?
At the London Ritz you get after dinner mints, at the Paris Ritz you get minced after dinner.
What was the last thing that Princess Diana had to drink?
A Harvey Wallbanger with six chasers.
Did you hear that Dodi wanted to go night-clubbing but Diana just wanted to crash.
Did you hear that the French Doctors could have saved Diana but they didn't have the parts for a 1961 Princess.
Did you hear that the paparazzi were in deep shit in Paris?
Just before the ill-fated Mercedes left the Ritz on that fateful night, they were shouting "Di, Di, Di".
Have you heard that Princess Diana was on the radio?
And the dashboard, and the windscreen, and...
Prince Charles was out early the other day walking the dog. When a passerby said "Morning", Charles said "No, just walking the dog."
What's Di's fave ice-cream?
Headline describing the Royal Mails decision to not deliver letters on Saturday.
DIANA CRASH HAS IMPACT ON POST
What will Di get for Xmas ?
The Queen mother
What Have Di & Ian Wright got in common ?
Both hit the post 4 times at the weekend
What's the similarity between Neighbours & Prince Charles ?
Neighbours have Mrs Mangle, Charles has mangled Mrs.
What did the French mortuary attendant say when he got the body bags?
Zip-a-de Dodi, Zip-a-de Di
What did Dodi say to his chaffeur?
Do you want to come to Paris with me and Di?"
Why did Elton John sing at the funeral?
Because he's the only queen who gives a fuck.
What's the difference between George Best and Dodi's chaffeur?
George Best can still take corners when he's pissed.
What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Lady Di?
Tiger Woods has a good driver.
What is Dodi's new pet name for Di?
Apparently it wasn't the chauffers fault, Di had also been drinking, reports show she had 2 pints of Carling in her ...
What does a bee have in common with a Mercedes?
They both make Royal Jelly
What's the difference between Swampy and Princess Di?
They both go into tunnels, but only Swampy comes out of them
How did the crash investigators know that Di had dandruff?
They found her head and shoulders on the dashboard....
What's the difference between Dodi and Di and Charles and Camilla?
Dodi and Di are just a crush
That was final proof that a Mercedes Benz
how d'ya paint a merc red?
knock knock......who's there?
See, easily forgotten.
Do you know what was playing on the stereo when the car crashed?
What did Di wear for her funeral?
A dark blue bonnet.
Apparently Dodi asked Diana whether she wanted to crash at his place or hers.
What sound did the ambulance make?
Dodi dodi dodi dodi dodi dodi....
What's the Queens favourite car?
A smashed up Princess
And on a happier note
What does the Queen Mother have in common with a Turkey?
They'll both be dead by Christmas